MARRIAGE AS A FORM OF FREEDOM

How to Escape the Prison of a Bad Marriage

Marriage is a beautiful institution, designed by God to reflect His love and grace to the world. It is a covenant of mutual commitment, respect, and sacrifice, where two people become one flesh and share their lives together. Marriage is also a gift, a source of joy, and a means of growth and sanctification.

But what if your marriage feels like a prison? What if you feel trapped, unhappy, and unfulfilled in your relationship? What if you long for the freedom and excitement of your single days, when you could do whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted, with whomever you wanted?

If you are in this situation, you might be tempted to think that you made a mistake in choosing your spouse, or that you deserve better, or that you have fallen out of love. You might be looking for a way out, a divorce, or an affair. You might be blaming your spouse for your misery, or yourself, or God.

But before you take any drastic steps, let me suggest that the problem is not with your marriage, but with your perspective. You see, if your marriage feels like imprisonment, you have either not matured enough for marriage or your perspective on marriage is deeply flawed and secular that you want to retain the freedom of a single life within marriage.

Let me explain.

Maturity Matters

Marriage is not for the immature. It requires a lot of wisdom, patience, humility, and self-control. It demands that you put the needs and interests of another person above your own. It challenges you to grow in character, faith, and love.

But many people enter marriage with unrealistic expectations, selfish motives, and childish attitudes. They think that marriage will make them happy, fulfil their dreams, and solve their problems. They think that marriage is all about romance, passion, and fun. They think that marriage is easy, effortless, and automatic.

They are wrong.

Marriage is hard work. It involves a lot of compromise, communication, and conflict resolution. It exposes your flaws, weaknesses, and sins. It requires a lot of grace, forgiveness, and healing. It tests your faith, hope, and love.

If you are not ready to face these challenges, if you are not willing to change, grow, and learn, if you are not prepared to die to yourself and live for another, then you are not mature enough for marriage.

And if you are not mature enough for marriage, then your marriage will feel like imprisonment. You will feel frustrated, bored, and resentful. You will feel like you are missing out on life, like you are wasting your time, like you are losing your identity. You will feel like you are in a cage, and you will want to escape.

But the solution is not to break free from your marriage, but to grow up in your marriage. You need to realize that marriage is not about you, but about God and your spouse. You need to understand that marriage is not a contract, but a covenant. You need to accept that marriage is not a fairy tale, but a journey.

You need to mature.

Perspective Matters

Marriage is not only a human institution, but a divine one. It was created by God, for God, and to God. It is a reflection of His nature, a representation of His relationship, and a revelation of His purpose. It is a picture of Christ and the church, a partnership for the kingdom, and a platform for the glory of God.

But many people have a secular view of marriage, influenced by the culture, the media, and the world. They think that marriage is a social construct, a personal choice, and a human right. They think that marriage is about happiness, compatibility, and convenience. They think that marriage is flexible, optional, and disposable.

They are wrong.

Marriage is sacred, permanent, and exclusive. It is a holy union, a lifelong commitment, and a faithful bond. It is about holiness, covenant, and service. It is a divine design, a divine calling, and a divine responsibility.

If you have a secular perspective on marriage, then your marriage will feel like imprisonment. You will feel dissatisfied, restless, and ungrateful. You will feel like you are missing the point, like you are living a lie, like you are disobeying God. You will feel like you are in a trap, and you will want to escape.

But the solution is not to abandon your marriage, but to renew your perspective. You need to see your marriage as God sees it, as a gift, a blessing, and a privilege. You need to value your marriage as God values it, as a treasure, a mystery, and a testimony. You need to honour your marriage as God honours it, as a witness, a ministry, and a worship.

You need to change your perspective.

Freedom Matters

Marriage is not a prison, but a liberation. It frees you from the bondage of sin, the tyranny of self, and the deception of the world. It frees you to love, serve, and honour God and your spouse. It frees you to experience, enjoy, and express the fullness of God’s grace and glory.

But many people confuse freedom with license, autonomy, and independence. They think that freedom means doing whatever they want, whenever they want, with whomever they want. They think that freedom means having no boundaries, no obligations, and no accountability. They think that freedom means being single in marriage.

They are wrong.

Freedom is not the absence of restraint, but the presence of purpose. Freedom is not the ability to choose, but the power to obey. Freedom is not the right to indulge, but the privilege to sacrifice. Freedom is not being single in marriage, but being one in marriage.

If you want to retain the freedom of a single life within marriage, then your marriage will feel like imprisonment. You will feel restricted, limited, and oppressed. You will feel like you are losing your freedom, like you are giving up your rights, like you are surrendering your will. You will feel like you are in a prison, and you will want to escape.

But the solution is not to reclaim your freedom, but to redefine your freedom. You need to realize that freedom is not about you, but about God and your spouse. You need to understand that freedom is not a selfish pursuit, but a selfless gift. You need to embrace that freedom is not a single life, but a married life.

You need to enjoy your freedom.

Conclusion

If your marriage feels like imprisonment, don’t despair, don’t give up, and don’t run away. Instead, mature, change, and enjoy. Grow up in your marriage, renew your perspective, and redefine your freedom. Escape the prison of a bad marriage, and enter the paradise of a good marriage.

Remember, marriage is not a prison, but a liberation. It is a beautiful institution, a divine design, and a glorious gift. It is a covenant of mutual commitment, respect, and sacrifice, where two people become one flesh and share their lives together. It is a source of joy, a means of growth, and a platform for worship.

Marriage is a blessing, not a curse. Marriage is a freedom, not a prison.