By Fred Allan Nyankuru
Within many Christian communities today, the phrase “one man, one woman” carries the weight of unquestioned truth. It is treated not merely as a recommendation for order and peace, but as a moral commandment whose violation is branded sinful. Yet when examined with calm honesty and deeper theological reflection, this principle struggles to hold up without contradictions. In fact, the tensions it creates, especially in real-life situations, suggest that the stance is grounded more in cultural preference than in divine prohibition.
This is not an attempt to romanticize polygamy, nor to deny the genuine challenges it brings. It is, instead, a call to be frank with Scripture, consistent with logic, compassionate toward people, and humble about where God has spoken clearly and where we may have spoken for Him.
The Conversion Dilemma: A Principle That Buckles Under Its Own Weight
Let us begin with a simple but revealing scenario: A man lives as many men in various cultures have lived for centuries: he has more than one wife. With time, he encounters the gospel message and accepts Christ. Now, according to some Christian teachings, polygamy is inherently sinful —yet these same teachers quickly add that this man should not dismiss or abandon any of his wives, but must continue caring for each one faithfully.
This creates an immediate theological paradox: If polygamy is sin, and salvation calls one out of sin, why then is the newly converted man encouraged to continue in what is labelled sinful?
To force him to keep only one wife through divorce would also contradict Scripture, which condemns the unjust dismissal of a spouse. So the church, in attempting to preserve one principle, violates another —revealing the fragility of the monogamy-only doctrine.
This awkward compromise is not based on Scripture’s clarity but on the discomfort of applying a man-made rule consistently. When a principle collapses under real-life scrutiny, we must question whether it was grounded in divine truth or human attitude.
What Exactly Does Scripture Condemn?
Throughout the Bible, many revered figures had multiple wives; Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon, and others. While their polygamy sometimes generated household conflict, Scripture does not once classify the practice itself as sin. On matters where God disapproves, the Bible is rarely silent.
Moreover, The Old Testament regulates polygamy (Exodus 21, Deuteronomy 21). God gives rights and protections to multiple wives. Nowhere does Scripture equate polygamy with sexual immorality or rebellion against God.
If God considered polygamy inherently sinful, would He provide laws to safeguard those marriages instead of commanding their dissolution? Would He bless people, kings, and patriarchs who lived within polygamous unions? Would He even describe Himself metaphorically as a husband to two sisters —Judah and Israel —when warning about their unfaithfulness (Ezekiel 23)? The evidence, taken honestly, points in one direction: polygamy is not inherently identified as sin in the Scriptures.
Why Then Does the New Testament Emphasize “Husband of One Wife”?
The New Testament requirement for church leaders—“the husband of one wife”—is often taken as universal proof that polygamy is sinful. But the logic does not hold.
When Scripture says an overseer, elder, or bishop should be the husband of one wife (1 Timothy 3:2), it does not declare that all other men must be. If that were the case, then every other trait listed —sobriety, hospitality, being apt to teach —would also be required of every Christian, or else they would be sinful too. Leadership standards are just that: leadership standards. Higher responsibility, higher expectations.
If the intention was to declare polygamy sinful for all, the apostles would simply have said so. Instead, they set a specific standard for leaders while leaving ordinary believers free of that restriction, consistent with the Old Testament’s own posture.
The implication is simple yet powerful: If polygamy were sin, church leaders would not merely be discouraged from it; they would be forbidden from it because sin disqualifies a person from church leadership altogether. The instruction for leaders, therefore, confirms the innocence of polygamy for others, not its condemnation.
Cultural Discomfort Is Not Divine Command
Much of contemporary Christianity’s rejection of polygamy stems not from Scripture, but from cultural evolution. Western societies transitioned toward monogamy for social, economic, and political reasons. As Christianity spread, these cultural values were baptized as Christian doctrine. But culture, no matter how long practised, cannot replace divine truth.
The discomfort some believers feel toward polygamy is understandable. It is complex. It can strain emotions, finances, and family peace. But difficulty does not equal sin. Debt is difficult too. Parenting is difficult. Marriage itself is profoundly difficult.
Christian teaching should empower individuals to make wise choices, not falsely condemn what Scripture allows simply because it challenges modern sensibilities.
The Wise Middle Ground: Not Promoting Polygamy, but Not Mislabelling It Either
Recognizing that polygamy is not inherently sinful does not mean encouraging it blindly. On the contrary, polygamous households require maturity, financial stability, emotional intelligence, and a sense of fairness that not every man possesses.
It is perfectly acceptable —and pastoral, to discourage polygamy due to the potential chaos it may bring. Many biblical stories reflect these challenges. But discouraging something for practical reasons is not the same as condemning it morally.
A truthful, balanced Christian view should say: Polygamy is allowed in Scripture. But it comes with challenges. It is not ideal for everyone. But it is not sin.
This approach is not only more consistent with Scripture; it is also more compassionate and culturally relevant for communities where polygamy remains a lived reality.
A Principle That Requires Compromise Is Not a Principle of Truth
Returning to the initial dilemma, any principle that requires bending, adjusting, and explaining away when confronted with real human situations is suspect. God’s principles —love, justice, humility, mercy —hold firm in every context.
But the “one man, one woman is the only God-approved marriage” idea crumbles the moment a polygamous man becomes a Christian. It forces believers to juggle divorce ethics, pastoral compromise, and biblical inconsistencies —all evidence that its foundation is human, not divine.
A truth that must be rescued by exceptions is not truth.
Honesty, Compassion, and Scripture Above Tradition: The Christian faith calls us not only to believe, but to think —deeply, honestly, and humbly. When we do so, the monogamy-only doctrine reveals itself not as a timeless biblical command but as an inherited cultural preference dressed in theological language.
Polygamy may not be advisable for many, but it is not a sin. It may be wise to discourage it, but not to demonize it.
In the end, the most faithful Christian posture is one that respects Scripture more than tradition, recognizes complexity without condemnation, values people over cultural comfort, and embraces truth even when it challenges long-held assumptions.
If God did not label polygamy sinful, it is not the role of His people to do so.
